Happy Almost September!

One of my wool birds.

                                         Norton, our dove, who is in heaven now-we lost him a few years ago....                                       

 An old drawing of a dove. I must have used a photo as a reference.

I feel like I've been away from blogging for so long.

Hard to catch up with  friends, but I will. 

This summer I had day surgery-it went well, but it was good to have it over with.

I am slowly getting back to doing artwork again, and feeling the need to learn new things and even change up my usual 'style' of drawing and painting.

I made a quilt this summer! My very first one. I can't upload pictures to this blog anymore, but maybe I can scan one block from it to show you sometime. It's a little wonky for sure. I did all the quilting by hand with embroidery thread. It's a Christmas gift to my lovely daughter-in-law. I made one for her dog too.

I will show you a book I'm using to do art-it's Jeanne Oliver's book, "The Painted Art Journal."

I love it! I love how she asks the reader to make an inspiration board of things that make up your personal story. I usually don't really follow an art book- But this one I am going to do all of the lessons.

How has your summer been?

And what project or art are you doing or thinking of doing?

Be the GOOD in this World. You can make a difference.

 Watercolor

copyright Debra Smith

I have been reading blogs when I can, but having dry eye makes it a little hard, so I don't blog much anymore.

I miss my blog friends!

 It seems a bit mean to mention this, BUT

I have noticed a lot of views here from other countries of my old artwork. I don't think my art is that great, but I know it is easy to steal photos for your own use.

So if you are doing this-

PLEASE STOP.

It's not worth it.

Be kind.

There are too many hurtful, sad and awful things going on in this world.

Be a person that doesn't go that way.

Make a difference for GOOD.

Hello

 Some random photos from older blogs of mine that I have stopped using.

I'm so anxious for Spring. Please take care everyone.

God bless you.

 November 11

My mom went to heaven.

I have not known grief like this. It will take time.

I miss her terribly.

 November 8

Mom is sleeping, then awake long enough to take a little drink. Yesterday she kept saying, 

"Bye bye, bye bye." 

We were going to stay all night. Perhaps God had given her a word that He was coming to take her to heaven. But she slept, and we quietly walked out of her room.

Today while I was in Walmart it hit me that I wouldn't be buying her Christmas gifts this year. I had to stuff down tears.

But an extraordinary thing happened to me while I was in Walmart. People-strangers-smiled at me! When had that ever happened in Walmart? Almost never.

I decided it was because I no longer carry my guilt over my conflicted feelings and regrets about resentment towards my mom. It does not show on my face like it used to. I am being changed.

It is glorious, and in this sad time, I have Joy.

 

November 6

"For there is hope for a tree if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that its shoots will not cease. Though its root grow old in the earth, and its stump die in the soil, yet at the scent of water it will bud and put out branches like a young plant."  Job 14:7-9.

There is always hope.

When God seems silent, He is working still.

So perhaps you wonder why I am writing about such a personal heart breaking thing like my mom dying. How can I write when I hurt a hundred times a day? Why am I making a private part of my life out there for the world to see?

Because for much of my life I did not have a very good feeling about my mom. We hurt each other. There were years of misunderstanding-but yes, times of love that did keep us connected.

It took my mom to be in this condition to break my heart and give up the huge resentments and unforgiveness that always clouded my thoughts. That state of mind hardened my heart.

"yet at the scent of water..."

And I called myself a Christian...Yes, I believed, but I lived with "rooms" shut off from God. "Do not enter, I am hurt, I will hold onto this hurt."

But it only hurt me, and of course, my mom.

All this to say: thankfully the heart of stone has been removed. I have to give my stack of regrets to God, who hides them, takes them away-His Word says so.

Because I have repented- I have turned around.

So I write and publish a blog post to give you hope, maybe. If you even desire to be changed by God, He will do it. 

And my mom knows how much I love her.

Because I can truly tell her I do.

 November 3

I'm in her room, sitting close. She's sleeping. I can't awaken her. She's breathing steady, nice breaths.

The curtains are closed on a bright afternoon sun. The clock on her wall hasn't been set to the right time yet.

I think how that doesn't matter. Time is not counted where she is in her sleep, and it won't be counted where she is going when she takes her last breath.

I want to be in this room when that happens. I want to be sitting near her.

And tell her how very much I love her.