November 3

I'm in her room, sitting close. She's sleeping. I can't awaken her. She's breathing steady, nice breaths.

The curtains are closed on a bright afternoon sun. The clock on her wall hasn't been set to the right time yet.

I think how that doesn't matter. Time is not counted where she is in her sleep, and it won't be counted where she is going when she takes her last breath.

I want to be in this room when that happens. I want to be sitting near her.

And tell her how very much I love her.

On a Wing

 When you are stripped of everything in life-the possessions you love, your clothing, the ability to walk, being able to communicate well; when you are at the mercy of others for all of your needs-the world becomes very meaningless. 

What doesn't matter at all:

The election

what day it is

grudges + offences

hopes + dreams

Because here you are in a hospital bed and you are facing a final day on earth.

That is my mom's reality. Right now.

I'm writing about it because I need to.

She had a third stroke- a bad one. She is on comfort care. I visit every day. Some days are better than others. When I can get her to sip the thickened drinks-it's a good day. Bad days are when she is sleeping and I count her breaths per minute.

The most important reason none of life's troubles or joys are meaningless to her is that she is waiting for Jesus to come and take her Home. 

There is nothing more important than knowing who God is and why on earth He loves us so much.

That thing in the back of your mind that creeps up to the front now and then and won't let you rest-that sin- that thing you know you did that was wrong. Well, Jesus died for that sin.

For all sin. For everyone.

You know what? Nothing else matters.

Ask Jesus into your heart.

He's real. And He loves you with a love that's impossible to contain in words.

He loves you.

Remember the important stuff that lasts.

 It's a hard and sometimes scary time we're in-for the world, but especially for this country. And I love my country very much.

But something concerns me. A lot.

We can get very caught up in disagreeing with each other and pushing our thoughts and beliefs about politics and the people running for president, that we ignore friendship, family love perhaps, or just plain good manners.

It's easy to get 'hot' over what was said by the candidates. 

Of course this stuff matters.

But it does not matter more than

friendship

love

good behavior

kindness

...

Don't let emotion control your behavior.

Or your speech.

(Painting by Debra Smith)

Oak & Owl, and journal entries...

 Writing from my journal, dated August16, 2024~

"For the past 3 days we have seen and heard geese flying. It is wonderful to hear that sound again-and I'm listening to it as I write.

How does this remind me and make me know that God loves me? I can't put it into words. But it does make me know His love for me. That's all-I know it.

I heard an Oriole this morning. Just a few calls, now either he's gone or just hanging around quietly."

From August 11, 2024~

"Morning, and I hear only a cardinal singing. A lone cricket sings off and on-it's cooler today and not humid, so the crickets aren't singing together.

What takes over the bird world that they all are quiet now? I miss the raucous jumble of voices. 

The quiet makes things look different."

******************

The scan of my artwork cut off some of the leaves...

I have used Prismacolor Premier pencils to do this work.

Reflections

 I have a lot to write about, but I guess I can wait...I am still using old photos that I've already posted on this blog, but I think it's ok. Not sure I want email on my phone-which is the only way I can post new photos on my blog.

I have passed through the season of high health anxiety, but now some depression has taken its place in my life. But I have much to be thankful for and I want to work toward remembering all the good things! The last photo reminds me of a promise from Psalm 23-the still waters. Sometimes that's just what our souls crave-to be sitting beside water that isn't moving. It is just still. It calms the mind, and spirit and soul. 

It is a stressful time in this world. Politics make me angry and sad at the same time. I firmly believe political talk should NOT be in a church. Let's agree about the things that are eternal. Whatever your beliefs are politically-please don't alienate fellow believers with your opinions if you differ from one another. All of that stuff will pass away. It can be much more difficult to simply be quiet and keep your opinions quiet, but it's the right thing to do.

I am painting-mostly watercolors. What a difference from acrylics! I have to learn how to think about painting all over again with a new medium. Watercolors are unpredictable-at least to a person who is learning. But I think that's part of the wonderfulness of them.

Soon I'll scan some of my current work to show you.

Thank you for dropping by...

XXOO Debra

The MRI is fine! Thank You God!

 The MRI showed everything is fine!

Thank you all so much for your love and support and prayers.

I have a few more issues to get checked out, 

it seems this is my time to go through some stuff.

Like everyone of you also have done!

I have been blessed with such good health for so long-so it's a different road to walk down now. It can be frustrating to do all the waiting for the right things to happen, and to see the right doctors.

It helps me to be able to come here and read what you are all doing....

I think most of my issues are just from being an old lady! I'll be 70 around the end of this year! Wow! I can hardly believe it.

I hope everyone is feeling well and enjoying spring!

Some health issues...

It makes me happy to see some of my old artwork, because I haven't been able to do anything much for a long time. So I thought I'd pop in here and tell you what has been happening with me. It's a few things, really. I have to have an MRI of my brain. I've got some symptoms-and it can be something not even related to my brain-but this is the first step in diagnosing what's going on.

Also, the dry eye can give me fits-it's hard for me to read very many blogs at once. Somedays are worse than others. Today is not so good. I won't go on and on here, but basically I've had about a year and a half of wondering what's going on with me and finding no answers. It's so frustrating and scary.

The MRI is April 11. I would love your prayers and good thoughts. I have been missing all of my blog friends so much.