Hard Things

Weird-because I wasn't going to blog today. But a comment from one of my blog friends prompted me to open up here. Nicole, from DVArtist is one of the fiercest warriors for facing hard things and making the very best out of those hard things-by helping others. She was responding to a comment I left on her blog saying that her strength had helped me move forward in something hard I'm in. So to honor her and give her a huge applause-I decided to come out here with some stuff going on with me.

I have known for a while that I have stage 3 kidney disease. That's been a hard one-but (another 'weird' here) I guess I have been in denial about it and have tried to ignore it. Dumb. But a few weeks ago I started to read. I changed my diet. My latest bloodwork showed a slight unimprovement in the GFR number-which isn't so good. To top everything off-I had a blood test for Lipoprotien-A which came back high. It's genetic so I've been calling family members to urge them to get checked out. Right now getting on a statin is about all you can do. There are drugs in trials-but at least there are statins which can help. This elevated cholesterol is more dangerous than the normal cholesterol. It's sticky-it can cause strokes and heart attacks. My mom had strokes and so did her father. My son was tested-he has it.

 The icing on the cake is my mental state-which I have FINALLY noticed is not so good...For more reasons than my own health. A family member close to me-well, that's something maybe for some other time. But all that stress personally-added to the world situation and how I feel about politics-mix that all up together and you got a toxic place for your head to live in.

When I finally noticed that I am always on the verge of bursting into tears-I was able to step back and say-this has to change. Some positive actions need to take place, and pronto.

So where is my relationship with God in all of this ?? You know what I hate? It's Christians that say to your face that you just gotta trust and pray and have more faith. THEY have it all together, and what's wrong that YOU can't shape up?? I am much more ready to listen to someone who will readily admit they don't have it all together all the time. That they hurt, that they question, that they doubt. And in the end, that God speaks to them anyway. We don't have to be all squeaky perfect-we aren't squeaky perfect.

I have a few health challenges, but most of us do. I have some anxiety that can get out of hand, but I've been through that before too.

God hasn't changed-He still loves me.

I'll start from there because that's enough for now.

Thank you for listening to me. If you want to, please tell me some of your own hard things. Maybe sharing is letting some of the weight roll off.

DebraXXOO

Happy Easter!

I am protected

held close

when I feel I have no strength to hang on.

When I have no answers

only questions

I still turn to my Heavenly Father God.

Under His wings

in the shadow of His wings

I am treasured

loved.

God gave His son for my sin

there is no shame to hold

because He took it on the cross.

Holy God could not bear to look at His only treasure hanging there 

for me 

for all.

It does not end there, at the cross

or at the tomb.

That's where it begins.

God's power raised Christ from the dead

so He could live inside me.

 I have this Treasure

I bear it not only in my heart

but in my being.

I carry Him with me

in little snippets of His Word

which is also who He is.

He covers me with His feathers...

with love to you who stop here to read, Debra                

 My Sam.

Paperclay angel

 I had forgotten all about this angel that I made...

I'm happy that Blogger saves all my old photos. It's fun to go back and look at them.

Happy, old photos from my blogs...

My mom and dad had this visitor on their porch...

I made the animal sculptures from the hedge prunings in our yard.

One of my geese doing a purely goose thing with water...

 Our rescue, Cheyenne, with Tutu

Have a happy day!

A Kitchen from Beamish

 Kitchen from Beamish

Acrylic on wood, 8"x10"

I asked Lin from linsartyblobs.blogspot.com if I could paint one of her photos. She graciously agreed, so here it is. Please visit her blog where she shows her delightful art and beautiful photos.

I looked up Beamish and found this info online from Wikipedia:

"Beamish, previously named 'Pit Hill,' is a village in County Durham, England, situated to the NE of Stanley. The village is contained within Hell Hole Wood and is home to Beamish Museum, an open air museum seeking to replicate a northern town of the early 20th century."

Thank you so much Lin-I had fun painting this!

In winter...

 Acrylic on cradled wood.

The snow is pretty but we have had enough of winter.

We have a few bunnies that we watch from our warm and cozy house.

I put out veg peelings-I think they have eaten them, or something else has.

There are also mysterious large dog prints that I have been seeing for a long time. It's one dog, and it just walks along our paths.

I actually think it's a wolf.

There are no loose dogs in our area.

But lots of wild animals.

It is a lovely place to be.

Even in winter...