Sam, laying by the chair that I hold her in. That chair means comfort to her, and to me. Her feathers have had my tears on them. I've buried my hands under those soft wings for my own solace. I have sat and wondered-how did I love a goose into this trust of me? They say petting a cat lowers your blood pressure-I'm here to tell you-so does petting a soft goose back and holding your hands around her 'face' so she closes her eyes-and goes to sleep!
Oh how I wish I trusted my Father God that way. I wish I did. But my fears say otherwise.
I have always marvelled at peoples' attitudes during hard things. There are those who seem so positive and I'm sure their trials are so much easier when seen through positive eyes...Yet it is hard for me to accomplish.
In about 2 months I have had 6 different health appointments-one to the ER. And the scary part is-something different seems to keep happening to me, and no one is giving me any answers. My mental health has been so fragile. My husband continues to be positive and calming and patient. How he does it-I cannot know. Only God is helping him because I would drive anyone batty. He has had to plain tell me I am not dying, because I am scared and sometimes my thinking is not right.
So the reason I am telling all of this? If you pray, please pray for me. I need it.
And I love your visits and words. Thank you so much...
I am helped by keeping at small art projects, and I have loved visiting blogs and seeing what you are doing.
Thank you for visiting!
12 comments:
I am sorry you are going through this. When I first got reallllly sick with lupus. I truly thought I was dying. NO ONE seemed to be able to help me. I had every test known to woman. That was the problem I was a woman. I won't go into that. I had lost the ability to speak and the loss of my legs. My nieces and I would sign and we made a game of it. Going through many doctors and 5 years I was finally diagnosed. The one thing that kept me going was to laugh through it all. No it wasn't funny but the alternative was to give up, be depressed, be a burden. I was not willing to to do those things. I fought with doctors and finally got one who actually listened. Medical is a battle and we must make the choice to be a warrior. I somehow believe you are. Yes, of course I will pray for you and send positive energy to you.
I guess I've been lucky. After being diagnosed at 19 with a rare birth defect that mimics arthritis, for months I couldn't even walk up stairs. I had to crawl on my hands and knees. One day I said "NO MORE." I never believed in the power of the mind until then. When I was 20, I was running marathons and doing things most people my age did. The power is in your own mind and you are strong enough to get through it. Yes, dear, i will pray for you. And you will keep sharing photos of that gorgeous Sam and the beautiful area you call home.
Prayers as always
Here's the thing, doubting God is a distraction depository for our frustration over feeling life is not perfect and unfair. We often, I believe, fail to understand His power with our physical world.
Faith.
When my life was missing all hope, all that I saw, felt, knew was left...myself and God.
Without doubt, God held me until I could hope again. Whether facing good or bad, my work, my choice, by my Faith held me by His Grace.
You are too beautiful of a person to not see your way to being kind and forgiving to yourself. I have faith you can cope with life stumbling in it or not.
It's so beautiful there at this time of year. I love Sam and her chair almost buried in all those golden leaves. The timing is definitely right for another of our little chats out by the hedge way gate (virtual, of course :~)). I doubt Sam minds those tears rolling down upon her pretty feathers. Millie doesn't seem to mind tears, either. In fact she licks them off my cheeks. It helps! It seems to me there are healing powers in art, so definitely keep those projects coming. Prayer Stone number 1 is going down today. :~)
I am so sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time.
Keep faith... I will hold you in my prayers every day.
Thank you so much for your kind words on my post.
Blessings,
Penny
Our blogs are good for this reason-to express ourselves and to reach out-you will find a way with God's help and positive thoughts. I agree with Elizabeth's story as it reminded me of my father's mother-she had 6 very young children and her doctor told her she would never walk again with her polio-she looked at the doctor and told him-- I Will walk again, I have a family that needs me--and she did. she was in horrible pain all her life but she found the strength I know you will too
hugs
So sorry you are not feelig good. Sending lots of hugs and prayers, Valerie
I love you all. I will read your comments over and over-thank you and God bless you....
Hey Debra, Hope you're feeling better. There are lots of us thinking about you and praying for you. Lynn and I were recently talking about just the feelings you have described. There was a time when Lynn called me every day, some days two or three times saying, Mama, I think I am dying. She is fine now. Most of her problems turned out to be a serious thryoid problem, plus a lot of other stress going on in her life. What a big sweet lovable goose Sam is. Take care Debra. Take one day at a time, it will get better. Love, Henny
Debra your photos this week are wonderfully beautiful...the splendour of the sun shining through the trees is captured so inspiringly. ....And ....I would love to give Sam a petting. Susie is sparing with her amorousness (compared to my past cats which were mostly male). She is a bit of a princess, but she usually gives me a couple of knee/lap times a day! Its soothing to pet her and she purrs.
I hope you get some answers about your health problems. It isn't good to not know. If you can find some answers, maybe you will feel you can address the problem and find solutions. I always like to find practical answers!
Thinking of you and cheering you on!! Love from Susie (a little bit goes a long way)
I will pray for you, Debra. God cares so much about us and our anxieties he invites us to cast them on Him. I've read enough here to know you know that. And I know that is so easy to say. When I am truly anxious I, too, struggle to give it to God. I suspect most do, and that is why we have scripture to remind us. I pray you will find out what's going on, or that it will resolve. I'd appreciate prayers too. I have new "gut" issues have increased since healing from gall bladder surgery this past spring, and it's become a challenge to want to go out to eat - just an invitation to meet a friend for lunch is anxiety producing. I'm putting off seeing a doctor, hoping it resolves on its own, but it's starting to take a toll.
You know I am praying always for you sweet friend. Isn't God so good to give us pets that we can love and love us back? I know I feel that way about my pooches.
Post a Comment