November 8
Mom is sleeping, then awake long enough to take a little drink. Yesterday she kept saying,
"Bye bye, bye bye."
We were going to stay all night. Perhaps God had given her a word that He was coming to take her to heaven. But she slept, and we quietly walked out of her room.
Today while I was in Walmart it hit me that I wouldn't be buying her Christmas gifts this year. I had to stuff down tears.
But an extraordinary thing happened to me while I was in Walmart. People-strangers-smiled at me! When had that ever happened in Walmart? Almost never.
I decided it was because I no longer carry my guilt over my conflicted feelings and regrets about resentment towards my mom. It does not show on my face like it used to. I am being changed.
It is glorious, and in this sad time, I have Joy.
5 comments:
I'm so sorry about your mom. I love how you describe yourself and how you are being changed. It's truly beautiful.
Dear Debra,
Wonders happen when the mind is sensitive.
I feel sorry about your sorrow of your mother. It's evitable all of us to leave some day
Blessings 🙏💗
Great!
Beautiful, Debra.
Ah sweet friend I am glad you are finding joy in the Lord as you go through this time of sorrow. We never really say goodbye to those we love in this life - we know it is only a brief moment before we will be together again and every conflict will be gone and what we know as life here will fade in the beauty of eternity and God's love. Love you dear.
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